Its only been 15 days and I didn't even blog for all of them and I'm continuing my theory that I invited this in. Its been a shitty 15 days and the hardest part is even though I've acknowledging how hard its all been I've been wondering if I've really been following the steps. Telling my whole story. But there's been one person who I have told it all to.
My friend Charlotte, who's only about twenty has been witness to all my bullshit from halfway around the world and I thought to myself today that maybe I should give her a break from me. She's a girl who's wise beyond her years and will probably be incredibly successful. She's been incredibly concerned for me during this period where I've been a whiny bitch. And not this lame concern where you unload on them and they nod, but a real concern where they go out of their way to ask how you are.
I'm grateful for her concern and that I have such a beautiful friend. But I also feel really guilty. Why should this girl have to play therapist to some idiot on the other end of the globe? I was ready to take one of my breaks from Facebook. I periodically take these just to unplug. I told her I was getting off and she was upset that we wouldn't have any other way to talk. She knew I had been struggling and actually wanted to continue to talk.
I realized something. Charlotte was never someone I put on some bullshit guise for. Even when I first met her. I told her the second time we hung out about what a hard time I was having when we were drinking vodka straight from the bottle. I told her my girl problems and all the issues with my script and so an and she wasn't freaked out or anything. She's the fastest growing friendship I've ever had and it came from me telling my whole story to her.When you meet someone really genuine you need not worry about awkwardness or any of that shit and for you skeptics, believe me they are out there.
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