I need to shake things up, healing is great and all but I'm you are all sick of me blogging about my job. Luckily was my last day for a while. What I am happy to report is my work has actually gotten better and almost without realizing it. There's a section in my rotation called 'grouper' where you separate all the parties into groups that can ride. I fuck this part up fairly often. But lately none of that's happened, everything has gone smoothly. That's right, I'm good at my job that requires a high school level education bitches! But I actually told some of my fellow co workers that shit is kinda boring when everything goes smoothly. But its cool because I'm realizing a lot of the stuff covered in Shawn's talk. Where he mentions that happiness should be the goal before any other goal. In taking on this challenge I have to admit I put most of my personal projects on hold, at first I was worried that this TED stuff was actually hindering my ambitions but now I feel more equipped. What I've also experienced is a new kind of resilience. I got some bad news at work about how I didn't have enough attendance points to transfer to a new department. It was frustrating and it probably means I'm just going to put in my two weeks. But ordinarily this bad news would've wrecked my whole day, I used to hold on to grudges and negative feelings for a long ass time. I used to talk to my therapist (who I started to see after I tried to kill myself when I couldn't finish my french homework) about that issue and my therapist would say "why can't you just say to yourself 'well that happened let's move on' ?" and I that was always my intent but lately I've been able to do that.
Exercise: I love coupling my workouts with my meditation. I always look forward to my meditation as cool off period and that's made the whole workout process moved really quickly. I'm great at doing crunches and I should be to counteract all the beer I drink.
Meditation: I listened to classical music this time. If you want and understanding of how long a span of ten minutes is, then just listen to Symphony No. 5 and close your eyes and don't do anything else. I didn't tune out as completely as I would've liked to (that seems to be an ongoing problem) but my mind certainly didn't wander too much.
Random acts of kindness: One of the most pivotal people in my life, sometimes by best friend and sometimes my worst enemy had her birthday today. I called her at midnight and told her I hoped all her dreams would come true this year. Jesus. That sounds insane. But it was very heartfelt.
Memories from yesterday: 1) I got several members of my extended family into the theme park for free. I hadn't seen them in 20 years (never thought I'd say that) but they were super grateful. 2) At the meeting with my friends we got to play around with what was basically a giant glow stick and we got look at it through a pair of glasses that made every source of light look like a heart. It was all very trippy. 3) The real highlight was me not being a piece of shit employee and actually doing my job well.
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